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Colin’s story

Colin was born in London in the 1950’s, adopted to rural Scotland as a baby and was in his early 60’s when he approached Birthlink looking to contact his birth mother. Colin had discovered his adoption as a teenager with this having been kept secret and never discussed in his adoptive family it seemed highly likely that this would be birth mother’s secret as well.

Colin had very little original information so the first step was to arrange to access the Court documents on his behalf. Colin also registered with us on the Adoption Contact Register for Scotland. As there was no match on the Register we then began to actively search in England for information about his birth mother and her family. The information from the Court records indicated that birth mother had moved to a different part of the country shortly after Colin’s birth. This very quickly helped us to identify the correct person and Colin was pleased to discover that he had younger brothers and sisters.

We were able to identify a current address for Colin’s elderly birth mother and an initial letter of contact was sent. Sadly, after two attempts, birth mother wrote to say she did not want any contact.

Colin was understandably very disappointed to hear this latest news and struggled with his many mixed emotions. He then decided to sit with things for a while and a few months passed before Colin was again in touch to say that he wanted to make contact with his siblings.  Despite knowing that they were most likely unaware of his existence Colin was determined that they should know of him and contact letters were duly sent.

Some weeks passed and a telephone call came from a family representative to say that the family did not want contact with Colin at this time due to their concerns for their elderly mother.

For Colin this was experienced as a further rejection and, although Colin’s immediate response was to voice his desire to get back in touch with them again, after some consideration he agreed it would be best to work on his acceptance of the current situation.

At least now the family knew about him and they now know that, should they ever want contact in the future, they can then be in touch with Birthlink.

Despite Colin’s disappointment at the outcome Colin commented on the service saying “The support I received went well beyond expectation.  I never felt rushed and was able to talk things through with my worker at Birthlink. I felt at ease with her, even when things turned out not so good with my ‘lost’ family.”