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Nicole’s Story

Nicole registered her details on the Adoption Contact Register in 1995. She had been just aged 21 when she fell pregnant with her son Daniel in 1977. All she could do was register and hope……

In 2015, Nicole contacted Birthlink again. She made good use of the supports available and talked about her experience at length. Even after all that the time the memory was raw and she often ended the call in tears. She reflected on how traumatic the whole adoption process had been from her perspective and that she felt at the time that she had no choices, no supports and no hope…  “decisions were made for me….I felt powerless….” Nicole wrote a reflective letter to herself in an attempt to start the healing process. She found writing down her thoughts and feelings very therapeutic.

A change in the law from when Nicole had originally registered meant that she now had an option to make an approach to the local authority responsible for arranging Daniel’s adoption. Birthlink supported her with this and were able to enter a Non Disclosure Agreement with them to act as an Intermediary. The local authority shared identifying information with Birthlink which enabled us to search public records in an effort to trace Daniel. No identifying details were ever shared with Nicole. She understood that only Daniel could consent to that happening.

Through the Birthlink Search Service, we located Daniel. He chose not to speak to us directly but shared through his cousin that he had no interest at the moment in making contact with Nicole.

Nicole expressed that while she was naturally very disappointed by his response, she felt overwhelmingly relieved and comforted to know that Daniel was alive and well. She shared that over the years she had worried that he may have died and that she would never know.

Nicole is getting on with her life and has hope that perhaps one day, Daniel may change his mind……